Back For The First Time

I thought I would like it here, but I don’t. Something isn’t right here. I gotta go. I should have never left. There’s not place like home. what the fuck was I thinking. It’s 5:01 am…it’s too early for this shit…but you know what it is folks.

I HAD TO GO TO MY REAL HOME

Blogspot was fucking up my blog format, and my stuff would come out all the way at the bottom of the page.

THE UPDATE
*************
I have been busy….looking for more work. I have really been trying to find something with flexible hours so that I can do what I need to do in the mornings. Bills still stackin up. I needs me some money. I’m still blogging, but I have to get on my grind ‘cause times are rough right now. There’s too much for me to do all my my lonesome.

I had a great Thanksgiving though. I hit up two spots for some food, and I still have turkey left.

The blogs will still be here, just few and far between.

I think that’s how the saying goes.
Uno

First
* First job: Camp counselor
* First screen name: yankeeplaya51
* First funeral: My mother’s friend’s mother
* First pet: pete, a gerbil (RIP)
* First piercing: Ears
* First tattoo: None
* First credit card: n/a i have a debit card though. the first one was a mastercard, the new one is a visa
* First kiss: I was ten, i dont remember details
* First enemy: noura h. we were friends, and then we weren’t then we were and then we werent. then we were, and we graduated, and then after 2 years we lost touch of each other.

Last
* Last car ride: from the bronx to queens on t-day.
* Last kiss: summer of 99 (i know)
* Last movie watched: RIZE, i have seen this movie maaaaad times
* Last beverage drank: lipton ice tea
* Last food consumed: sweet potatos, stuffing, turkey wing, and collard greens
Last phone call: my father’s friend
* Last time showered: thursday? i know its sunday. yeah cause all ive done was stay in the house and do nothing aaaaaaaall weekend.
* Last CD played: Sister Act 2…oh happy day was my shit
* Last website visited: Butta….http://www.itslikebuttababy.com/blog.html
Now
* Single or taken: Single and not looking
* Gender: Female
* Birthday: oct. 2
* Sign: Libra
* Siblings: None
* Hair color: black
* Eye color: Dark brown
* Shoe size: 10 in girls sneakers, 9 9.5 in girls shoes and sandals, and 8.5 in boys sneakers
* Height: 5′3 3/4
* Wearing: gray TRUMP PLAZA t-shirt, and gray sweats, and a head scarf.

I got a call last week form my father’s friend inviting me to have Thanksgiving dinner with his sister and her kids. Her birthday is on Sunday (the 27th), and she will be celebrating it on Thanksgiving night. I wanted to go so bad, but something told me I shouldn’t. Being that my mother cut all her bridges in these past 2 years, she doesn’t have much friends. Well she does, but she doesn’t keep in contact with them on a regular basis. A friend of her invited her to come to Queens, and she said she was already going somewhere. That was a lie, but I understood. She’s got to use special transportation, or a cab to get around. The latter costs money, and the former hasn’t been set up yet. None of her friends who have cars that live right here in Manhattan have even called to see what she was doing or how she was doing. My guess is she is going to spend Thanksgiving right here in the house. She can’t cook. Yes she can, but she’s not able…and I just don’t know how, so we are having KFC for Thanksgiving. I haven’t been to a social gathering in a long time. This is my chance, but I didn’t want to leave her home alone. This was bothering me a lot because in these past 2 years my social/personal life has been at a stand still and I am tired of that shit. If I wanted to go out to a movie right now, I wouldn’t be able to. I have no money, and who is going to go with me? Everyone of my small group of friends are busy. Well…there’s more to that story…and I’ll explain later.

This morning I called my dad’s friend back, and I told him I would come even though I said that I wasn’t. So I’m going. I’ll eat some KFC here with my mother, and then I am going to the Bronx. I don’t give a good God damn what anyone has to say. I have one life to live, and it’s been miserable these past 2 years, so I am going to go out on Thursday, and I wish a motherfucker would say something to me.

One

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

damn, what is going on? is it just me, or is DH (desperate housewives) not living up to the hype that it had last year? this shit is weak. i fell asleep on it last night. word has it that the producers see that the show is not pulling in the numbers that it was last year, and they are going to kill one of the wives off. what they should do is kill off the blonde haired chick, not the one that used to be a stay at home mom though. i heard they were going ot kill bree off. this is not for sure, but its what i heard. it would make sense, she is dating the crazy pharmacist, and he did kill her therapist and her husband….she don’t even know.

Let me tell you the history of my parents.

They were together in the 70s, and in the early 80s (this is where I come in…83).

Then something happened one time where he sent me home drunk when I was four years old. He told me to walk home in the night by myself. I don’t remember this, my mother told me about it.

Fast forward to when I was eight, nine, ten, eleven….this is between (1991-1994). He gets visitiation rights, and I see him every other weekend along with my cousin ever other weekend at Papas’ house. This stops because my mother found out that the windows in the house are nailed shut with bars on them. True Story. She doesn’t want me there anymore, but he is still allowed to see me.

I see him some more in 7th and 8th grade, and that was the end of the consistent visits. Most of the interaction we had was through the phone. Most of them were arguments over the dumbest stuff.

In my four years in high school, I only saw him…
*on my 14th b-day.
*when my cousin got pregnant
*the few times that we went to the mosque (he’s a convenient Muslim)
*and…that’s it.

He’s never really done anything to help my mother take care of me. He paid his $300 something of child support each month. As far as getting me through private school, and going to college he took no part in that.

When I graduated high school…well before I graduated high school, I told him that I wanted a laptop for school. I told him this Jan. 2001, he had until August of that year to get it for me. I kept checking up on him about it, and he still didn’t have it. The day I was going to mail him and his sister invitations to the ceremony I called him and found out how far he was with getting it. He wasn’t very far. He was trying to get some shit that fell off the back of a truck. I wanted my shit to be official. I got mad. I didn’t give him the invitations, and I didn’t speak to him again until later that year.

fast forward

we got evicted. we were in a shelter for 14 months.
this bastard aint no good.

he lied about some money he gets because he is a vietnam vet, and he has ptsd, so he gets a disability check and he didnt tell the court that, so now he owes more money in child support. something like that. so in feb 04 we needed money because we dont have jobs, andwell we needed the money. he didnt want to give her money because the last time he gave me money (for the books)…which was when he thought i was going back to SU for my third year…i didnt go back.

(more…)

i was just reading Simply Schatzi blog about a relative dying, and the family fighting over whats left. this got me to thinking about my grandfathers’ funeral this past summer.

alright, my grandfather worked all his life…well i dont know about that…but i do know that he and my grandmother had six children who had to go without just so that they would have in the future.

back in 1999-2000 my fathers’ sister, her eldest daughter, and her son tricked my grandfather into signing over some money…it was about $100,000? something in that range of money to them. they spent that shit like that *snapping fingers*, and five years later, when my grandfather is dead, they have nothing to show for it.

the funeral was crazy. my father is such an actor…no really he is. he goes to make a speech, and this wasn’t even part of the program, and he mentions how there are theives in the family. and how papa worked so hard so that he could have something to give everyone when he died, and they just blew it all away.

my cousins’ husband and i were cracking up the whole time…because like i said, my father is an actor, so u know he had to be dramatic with his speech. when he read the obituary, and ran down the names of the children, he called his sister sherry, the theif and her children were the accomplices (spelling error?), man that shit was funny.

afterwards we had dinner and that was aaaaaaaaaall we could talk about. they didn’t even show up. they had the nerve to be crying at the funeral like they were really grieving (spelling error?), when u know they felt guilty as fuck.

none of them have nothing to show for that money they had…none of them. damn it man, i would have invest that shit, and made that money work for me or something. that’s that bullshit.

i dont know. i was just thinking about. i was going to tell you how much of an asswipe my father really is, even though i love him…but i will have to wait until he gives me an explaination as to why the sheriff came to my apartment last thursday about some child support modification papers….child support is bitch and i half…and he will fight to no end until he doesn’t have to pay anything else….even though he owes a shit load of money to my mother. we will get into that ass on a later date. tomorrow i gotta get some money.

uno

Awww shit man, I had to move…blogspot was getting on my last nerve. I like this better.
I have too much going on as of right now…but that soon will change. I have to tell you about my triflin’ ass father. I think I will do that tomorrow night.
Uno